‘Tis the season to be silly…
December 25th 2008 01:54
No one does silly quite like the folks from Futurama…
Bender: On the fourth day of Xmas, I stole from that lady
Homeless robot 1: Four family photos
Homeless robot 2: Three jars of pennies
Homeless robot 3: Two former husbands
Bender: And a slipper on a shoe tree
(Futurama, Season 2, Episode 4: Xmas Story)
By the year 3000, Christmas is called Xmas and pine trees are extinct. Santa is a robot who lives in his “death fortress” at the North Pole of Neptune and judges everyone to be naughty…
Amy: He knows when you are sleeping
Professor Farnsworth: He knows when you’re on the can
Leela: He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan
Zoidberg: Oh –
Hermes: You’d better not breathe; you’d better not move
Bender: You’re better off dead; I’m telling you, dude
Fry: Santa Claus is gunning you down!
(Futurama, Season 2, Episode 4: Xmas Story)
Due to Fry, Leela and Bender’s meddling, Santa is trapped, Bender briefly becomes Santa and the elves (aka the Neptunians) can go back to work again.
Elves: We are free and fairly sober
With so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky
Probably some one will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don’t intend to pay
Elves: The elves are back to work today
Hooray!
We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts
And the labour isn’t easy
Leela: And you’ll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed
Elves: It’s back to work on Xmas Eve
(panting) Hooray!
Leela: And though you’re cold and sore and ugly,
Your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Elf: There’s a toy lodged in my brain
Elves: We are getting awfully tired
And we can’t work any faster
And we’re very, very sorry
Bender: Why you selfish little bastards
Do you want the kids to think that Santa’s just a crummy empty handed jerk?
(Elves: Sorry! Argh! Ow!)
Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Elves: Now it’s very nearly Xmas
And we’ve done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they’re made from inferior work
Bender: I should give you all a beating but I really have to fly
Santa: If I weren’t stuck here frozen I’d harpoon you in the eye
Elves: Now it’s back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could
I guess that some of these gorillas are ok
(Elf 1: Hooray!)
(Elf 2: We’re adequate!)
Fry, Leela, Elves: The elves have rescued Xmas day
Hooray!
(Futurama, Season 3, Episode 3: A Tale of Two Santas)
Merry Xmas everyone!!
Bender: On the fourth day of Xmas, I stole from that lady
Homeless robot 1: Four family photos
Homeless robot 2: Three jars of pennies
Homeless robot 3: Two former husbands
Bender: And a slipper on a shoe tree
(Futurama, Season 2, Episode 4: Xmas Story)
By the year 3000, Christmas is called Xmas and pine trees are extinct. Santa is a robot who lives in his “death fortress” at the North Pole of Neptune and judges everyone to be naughty…
Amy: He knows when you are sleeping
Professor Farnsworth: He knows when you’re on the can
Leela: He’ll hunt you down and blast your ass from here to Pakistan
Zoidberg: Oh –
Hermes: You’d better not breathe; you’d better not move
Bender: You’re better off dead; I’m telling you, dude
Fry: Santa Claus is gunning you down!
(Futurama, Season 2, Episode 4: Xmas Story)
Due to Fry, Leela and Bender’s meddling, Santa is trapped, Bender briefly becomes Santa and the elves (aka the Neptunians) can go back to work again.
Elves: We are free and fairly sober
With so many toys to build
The machines are kind of tricky
Probably some one will be killed
But we gladly work for nothing
Fry: Which is good because we don’t intend to pay
Elves: The elves are back to work today
Hooray!
We have just a couple hours
To make several billion gifts
And the labour isn’t easy
Leela: And you’ll all work triple shifts
You can make the job go quicker if you turn up the controls to super speed
(panting) Hooray!
Leela: And though you’re cold and sore and ugly,
Your pride will mask the pain
Fry: Let my happy smile warm your hearts
Elf: There’s a toy lodged in my brain
Elves: We are getting awfully tired
And we can’t work any faster
And we’re very, very sorry
Bender: Why you selfish little bastards
Do you want the kids to think that Santa’s just a crummy empty handed jerk?
(Elves: Sorry! Argh! Ow!)
Then shut your yaps and back to work!
Elves: Now it’s very nearly Xmas
And we’ve done the best we could
Fry: These toy soldiers are poorly painted
Leela: And they’re made from inferior work
Bender: I should give you all a beating but I really have to fly
Santa: If I weren’t stuck here frozen I’d harpoon you in the eye
Elves: Now it’s back into our tenements to drown ourselves in rye
Leela: You did the best you could
I guess that some of these gorillas are ok
(Elf 1: Hooray!)
(Elf 2: We’re adequate!)
Fry, Leela, Elves: The elves have rescued Xmas day
Hooray!
(Futurama, Season 3, Episode 3: A Tale of Two Santas)
Merry Xmas everyone!!
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